This New Shadow
by Star-Shaped-X
Summary: "Darkness is light turned inside out." AU. Riku decides to summon a ghost, but carelessness during the ritual allows the spirit to enter the physical realm. Specifically, Riku's physical realm. His body is steadily ceasing to belong to him, and Riku can't find a way to stop it.
1. Chapter I

Special thanks to DanceInLightening for beta-reading this for me. :)

* * *

Riku had, all his life, been an open-minded and curious boy. At the age of five he'd starting thinking strongly about the idea of destiny, excited and hopeful about learning what his place would be in the world. When his school started social studies in third grade, he eagerly began to immerse himself in the idea of other lands and cultures different from his own. In middle school he went through the typical conformist-conspiracy phase, afterwards pondering for months on the nature of human personality, how everyone had their own interests and paths despite sharing the same basic anatomical structure. His curiosity led him to confidence as he noticed that the other children rarely appeared interested in his tendencies to question everything. They seemed content to accept life and ignore the questions or, more often, assume they already had the answers. In the back of his mind and at the front of his ego, Riku grew to believe this made him inherently superior in some way.

"What do you think my destiny is?" Riku had asked his older brother years ago, but received a shrug in response.

"I can't say. You'll find out someday, I'm sure."

Young Riku had pondered this for a moment and then asked another question: "What if I grow up and it turns out I'm not anything important?" But his brother assured him he had the makings for doing something worthwhile, and Riku knew he wouldn't lie to him.

It was these self-contemplative thoughts and memories that occupied his mind as Riku lay upon the smooth, river-side rocks with his friends one cool summer's night. His light hair pressed against his neck as he stared up at the waxing moon above him. To Riku, the moon had always been a symbol of fate, power, and especially adventure. Day or night it seemed to call to him anytime he looked up, promising dreams that could one day be his own if he had the strength to capture them. The moon was the sign of tomorrow, a signal of the future to come, and Riku was ready for it.

An obnoxious yawn to Riku's left broke him away from his self-reflecting, and he almost chuckled at how his friend's simple action clashed with Riku's own ruminative state. Sora, the bearer of the yawn, never questioned anything unless it affected him or his friends directly and even then went with whatever answer seemed easiest to deal with. The way Sora saw it, enjoying life was more important than understanding it, and although Riku hated to admit it he often found himself envying that happy nature Sora had. Both of their parents had been lifelong friends; they said Riku had actually been there the day Sora was born. The two grew up together, and despite Riku being a grade higher and Sora's friendly nature naturally pulling him into nearly every clique in school over the years they'd been best friends for as long as either could remember.

Only one person could rival this bond. Kairi, who was sitting on Sora's other side and gazing into the moon's reflection in the water, had been friends with the both of them for years. She was in Sora's grade, and had moved into their hometown from a much bigger city when they both started kindergarten. Naturally, she'd been nervous about starting school _and_ the move, but Sora's eager smile drew her in as it later would so many others and they became fast friends. It took longer for Riku to connect with her, but they became close once he did, and as they grew up together Riku began to notice that Kairi actually shared Riku's curious and questioning nature. She either didn't show it much or wasn't as serious about it, and was definitely more partial to issues of the past_—_a stark difference to Riku's constant seeking of the future_—_but he could still notice the subtle signs of interest hidden beneath her jokes.

Sora yawned again and Riku pushed himself up and chuckled at his friend. "Sleepy already, Sora? The sun's barely set."

His talking broke Kairi out of her trance with the water and she giggled, which caused Sora to glower a little though Riku knew he wasn't angry, just embarrassed.

"I'm not tired," Sora claimed. "I just need something to do. You guys are being boring tonight."

"Our swords are over there if you feel like getting your ass whupped again," Riku offered, gesturing to the play wooden weapons a few feet away that the two boys often spared with.

"Yeah, no thanks," Sora grumbled. He rubbed the bruise that had taken up residency on his shoulder that afternoon and Kairi giggled again. Riku smiled at the way she brought her hand to her mouth and her short-cropped red hair wavered back and forth. It gave him a sense of pride knowing he had basically been the cause of that laughter.

Kairi punched Sora playfully on the shoulder. "Maybe if you'd spend less days lazing about you'd win once in a while," she teased.

Sora sat up quickly when she mentioned him being lazy, as if it would prove otherwise. "Gimme a break, Kairi," he argued, "I've beaten him before."

Riku scoffed. "Sora, I could count your victories on one hand. And I bet that hand would have less bruises on it than yours."

Sora fell back to the ground with the back of his head cushioned by his hands, causing his thick spikes of hair to bounce a little. "Come _on_," he moaned, though his grin revealed his enjoyment. "You two are relentless tonight."

Riku smiled at him, then noticed Kairi had looked away towards the water again. She had a certain playful gleam in her eye_—_the sort a person got when they came up with a fun idea. "Kairi?" he prompted, in a tone that told her he knew she had something to say.

Her head moved to face him slightly as a smile widened on her face, but she didn't break eye contact with the ripples on the water just yet. "Well since Sora's bored," she started, "and it did just get dark out . . ." She broke her gaze to look at the two boys with that wide smile and declared, "Wanna look for a ghost?"

Sora sat up again. "A ghost?" he asked, sounding curious and perhaps a bit concerned.

"Scared, Sora?" Riku challenged, raising his eyebrows at him and holding back a smirk.

"No," Sora retorted, and then said to Kairi, "but I'm not really sure how we would start." He shook his head. "I don't think I even believe in ghosts."

"Good," Kairi said. She stood up and then winked at Sora. "Then when we find them, it'll be easier for me and Riku to get away."

Sora gave a short chuckle, but cut it short when he realized what Kairi was saying. "Right," he resigned.

"So," Riku said, standing up and side-stepping Sora to reach Kairi's side, "any idea where to start?"

"_You_ believe in ghosts, Riku?" Sora gaped up at him. Riku only shrugged. He hadn't spent a lot of time looking into the idea of the supernatural before, but he figured it was ignorant to assume they were the only intelligent life on this planet. It was just as ignorant to believe they'd find one on a whim tonight, but Riku was content to play along for Kairi's sake.

Sora must have understood the gesture, because he grinned and stood up to join them. "Okay, why not? Sounds like fun."

Kairi grinned. "Well then," she pointed at the tree line across the river, "Selphie told me this afternoon about a serial killer who went through these woods sixty years ago and murdered a bunch of campers. Bet we can find a bunch of ghosts there." She flashed a grin and then ran across the river, which was shallow enough to cross thanks to the heat of the summer sun the past few months. Despite earlier skepticism, Sora chased after her with a genuinely eager look on his face_—_he'd always found it easy to fall into the mood of those around him. Riku shook his head, certain that Selphie had stolen the story from every B movie horror plot ever, but still followed his friends into the woods across the river.

As Riku anticipated, their search didn't find them anything remotely supernatural. The closest they got was about ten minutes in when Sora started to get bored again and decided to try to sneak up behind Riku and Kairi and scare them. It didn't work of course_—_you don't wear shoes as big as Sora's and get to be stealthy.

After a while of trying to trick themselves into being scared_—_"Did you hear that?" anytime the wind picked up, or, "What if we get lost?" even though they'd explored here often enough to navigate their way easily even in the dark_—_the three finally settled beneath a fallen tree and told ghost stories instead.

Their own urban legends weren't necessarily any better than Selphie's had been though_—_just dramatizations of rumors they'd heard or tall tales from their childhood Halloween nights. Haunted mansions, peaceful animals turning suddenly vicious, a demon exorcism, deranged murders described in details law enforcement would never let become public_—_the usual. Of course they each claimed their story was "said to be true," and Riku actually told one account of a missing persons case that he was pretty sure had some facts behind it, but there was way too much humor going on for any of them to take any story seriously_—_and most of them were getting ridiculous anyway.

They goofed around and enjoyed each others' creativity, sometimes even jumping in and adding details to their friends' stories (further detriment to the credibility, but they were past the point where that mattered) until they all agreed it was time to head back.

"With all these ghosts around, I bet our parents are worried sick," Sora joked.

"Yeah," Kairi sighed. "Too bad we didn't meet any though. I'd like to talk to someone from a previous life." She wore a light smile, but her tone was contemplative enough that Riku became a bit guilty about not having taken her idea seriously. Surely this silly ghost nonsense was just a whim and didn't mean _that_ much to her . . . right?

Riku mulled his thoughts around that night in bed before he slept. It's true there were plenty of unexplained phenomena in the world, and he supposed it wasn't terribly impossible some of them were occult related. Thousands of people_—_perhaps millions_—_have sworn to have had contact with the supernatural, especially the afterlife. Riku knew many were just scammers or people seeking attention, but . . . with numbers that high it was unfair to assume that of everyone, wasn't it?

Riku was sure Kairi's sudden interest in the subject was nothing more than a fad, perhaps brought on by some horror film or something; she probably wouldn't even care in a week or two. Girls were fickle like that, right? Regardless though, she _would_ still find it impressive if Riku were able to show her something supernatural. And with the new school year approaching in just a few days, it would be nice to share a special connection of some sort with her. Unlike Sora, who was going to have three classes with Kairi, Riku didn't have any and he worried they might grow apart. True, they'd been more separated last year, since Sora and Kairi were each in middle school still, but high school was different. Kairi might even get a job or start dating_—_and then he might not get many chances to see her after school either. That would be infuriating.

Well, unless Kairi was dating him.

That wouldn't happen though. Riku had kept an eye out for any signs she felt for him that way. There weren't any.

Before Riku fell asleep, he resolved to research the occult the next day. He would sort through what people perceived as real and what experts had proven hoax. And then, when Riku was certain he'd found something legitimate, he planned to perform his own ritual.

Riku was going to summon a ghost.

* * *

Well . . . there's some exposition. XP It's been a while since I've really written something lengthy, but hopefully it doesn't show and a few people enjoy this fic. :)

I find Sora and Riku surprisingly difficult to write in KH1 characterization. :/ Ah well though, I'll get the hang of it. XP

- Star-Shaped-χ


	2. Chapter II

Riku stood in his room in front of an arrangement of odd items he'd gathered from around the house to use for the ritual. He'd spent a couple of days researching online and in the local library until he finally found something which caught his eye _and_ turned out to appear legitimate—an exhausted volume of text with a cover that promised a way to, "empower yourself by achieving godhood." It contained definitions for a number of spiritual terms, meditation instructions, both general and specific safety guidelines to use when working with people of the other side, detailed lists describing over seventy demons, and of course the step-by-step processes for many summoning rituals.

Currently he had the book open to the most basic ritual, to go over the small incantation one last time: _I summon power to conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do, the end which I would attain by thy help. I entreat to evoke [name of desired spirit] that I may accomplish my desired end._

It didn't sound too difficult.

The house was empty except for him. He'd invited Kairi over of course and Sora too (though he didn't tell them why, deciding to save the ghost-summoning as a surprise) but both his friends had their freshman physical today. It was the last weekday before school started, and it was no wonder that their parents had procrastinated scheduling the appointments for so long. Kairi's parents were workaholics with big important jobs that didn't leave a lot of time for much else and Sora's folks were just as lazy as him. Riku had still decided to try the ritual though. A practice run was a good idea, and since his mother didn't work and his brother constantly had friends over, Riku wasn't sure when he'd be alone again.

Well, 'alone' in a loose sense of the word, as the scurrying noise from the glass cage on his bedside table reminded him. Riku had a pet mouse, named Mickey, whom he'd taken in from the wild a few years ago. "You're up late," Riku smiled at him. Mickey stopped at the sound of his voice, staring and wiggling his nose, then ran over to the bowl of bread and carrots in the corner for breakfast.

Riku turned back to his instructions, double-checking he had everything before he started. Most of the items he'd had to compromise with as he'd simply gathered everything from around the house this morning, but since Sora and Kairi weren't here anyway he decided to see if this worked before going out and buying replacements.

The book called for:

_Thirteen (13) tall candles; preferably black; blue may be substituted._ He had a few green ones gathered but most of them were black. The tallest one reached a mere four inches.

_Incense; acceptable scents include apple, benzoin, cardamom, chamomile, gardenia, hyacinth, jasmine, licorice, lilac, magnolia, musk, myrtle, rose, vanilla._ He had just nabbed a stick from his mother's collection. He had no idea which scent it was.

_Seven (7) feet ribbon; preferably red or white._ Candles, incense, ribbon—this was sounding more like a Valentine's Day event. There was no ribbon in the house that Riku could find, but he'd settled on a spool of white thread.

_A full-length mirror which has seen hours of your personal reflection._ Now that was an interesting necessity. Riku had taken the mirror in his parents' room since it was the largest in the house, although it only reached up to his shoulders. He'd spent a lot of time fascinated by his reflection as a toddler, but wasn't sure this mirror had 'seen' him in the ten-plus years since then.

_Salt; not kosher._ Something that was easy to find, finally.

_A full moon._ Although the moon was at that point in its cycle (it would be full tonight), it was still a couple of hours until noon hit and nowhere near nighttime. Hopefully it still qualified.

_A name._ This was the one thing Riku was careful about. He'd put more thought researching a person to summon than he had on the ritual itself. He'd never had a loved one die before and even if he had he wouldn't want to mess with their soul. In the end, he'd decided on the city's local mystery case—Xehanort. The man had gone missing in his early twenties, leaving behind a plethora of rumors but no leads explaining what had happened to him. That was decades ago, and although the man had never turned up, he had long since been legally proclaimed dead and Riku believed that was true. Hell, if nothing else old age should have gotten to him by now.

_A sigil._ The sigil was a symbol the book instructed Riku to draw on a square sheet of paper to represent the person he was summoning. Since Riku knew almost nothing about the man, he'd ended up marking his paper with a large "X" to represent mystery (and, by nice coincidence, the start of the man's name). He tried to make it look fancy though, imitating a calligraphy style, to show he wasn't just being lazy. He wasn't sure how intricately a sigil was normally drawn.

_The body, a piece of the body, or an item of significant importance to the person whom you're wishing to contact (optional)._ Of course, Riku had nothing along those lines, but apparently it wasn't necessary anyway.

And that finished up the list. Riku had already showered (as instructed by the book) and made sure his bedroom light was off (though again, with the daylight coming in through the window he wasn't sure how much of a difference that made). It was time to set up. He started by laying some sheets down along the floor, then wrapped the thread around the mirror and arranged the candles in a three-foot circle in front of it. He placed the incense between the mirror and the candles, using the tome itself to keep the stick upright. It wasn't required, but Riku thought it added a nice touch. Next he poured salt in a nine-foot circle around his room, with the mirror as the center point (this was the reason for the sheets—dusting them off outside and running them through the wash would be much simpler than vacuuming his entire floor). He had to shove a few items out of the way to make room for the full nine feet, but he found the space.

Riku stepped into the circle of candles and kneeled down, resting his hands on his knees with the sigil held between them. He tried to ignore the funny feeling that told him he was being a complete idiot and this whole thing was a waste of time that would never work. The book had stated multiple times that any ritual would fail unless the person performing the it believed in it, because the spirit wouldn't waste its time contacting someone who didn't have enough faith to care properly, so Riku was trying to act optimistic. Besides, no one had to know if it turned out Riku was simply making a fool of himself. It wasn't like Mickey was going to start laughing at him.

He looked down at the paper in his hands, focusing on the letter he'd put there and then closed his eyes and imagined it in his head. He held the picture in his mind while counting a slow thirteen seconds, then went to light the candle.

Only to realize he didn't have a lighter.

Well shit.

Riku let out a sort of irritated chuckle, somewhat embarrassed at his own short-sightedness, and got up to look around the house for one, careful not to knock over a candle or disturb the circle of salt on his way out. He ran the instructions through his head to find anything else not on the list which he may have missed, and pulled a paring knife out of the kitchen drawer when he remembered he would need to prick his finger later. As he headed back up the stairs to his room, Riku spotted his dad's digital camera hanging on a hook and decided to grab that too. Who knows—if this did work he might have a way of showing his friends after all. Assuming ghosts showed up on-screen, of course.

He set the camera to record on his computer desk and got back into place. Hopefully exiting the circles early hadn't broken the ritual, but considering every other negotiation Riku had made with the instructions he decided there wasn't much point in worrying about that now. He counted to thirteen with the sigil in his mind again then lit the candles in a counter-clockwise formation. He had to bend awkwardly to reach the ones behind him, but he made it work. For each candle he lit, Riku repeated Xehanort's name, hoping he was pronouncing it correctly, and then he started to recite.

"I summon power to conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do," Riku spoke from memory as he lit the incense, "the end which I would attain by thy help." Riku picked up the small knife and slit one of his fingers, then flicked the blood on the mirror. "I entreat to invoke Xehanort that I may accomplish my desired end."

The last step was again to imagine the sigil, this time staring into the mirror, but Riku did not need to continue. The instant he finished the incantation, he saw a shift in the smoke floating up from the incense. It began to grow darker; but, Riku noticed with surprise as he stared, only in the mirror's reflection. And soon, the smoke began to expand, spreading out and thickening, again only in the mirror.

Was the ritual actually working? Riku hadn't even finished. And the book had stated it was rare for beginners to actually see anything in the mirror—that he should expect a sudden chill, or hear a high-pitched howling, or witness a few items move slightly with no plausible cause _at best_. And Riku didn't even have all the proper supplies.

Yet sure enough, the mirror filled up before his eyes, smoke stretching out to each edge and corner. The darkest parts, which had taken such a thick look Riku might have thought they were solid, gathered in the center at first looking like a rough rectangle but slowly it shaped itself until it had the form of a hunched, hooded figure.

And somehow, as surprised as Riku was that he now found himself staring at the shadow of what once was a living human being, as impressed as he was that he'd been able to pull the ritual off, even to a higher extent than the book had thought he'd be able to—he found that he wasn't scared. Not in the slightest. He was eager.

However, he was also unsure of what to do next. Sitting there, staring at the figure in the mirror, Riku realized he had never actually had any plans for the ethereal being—he'd just wanted to show Kairi. The silence—broken only by the frantic scurrying noises coming from Mickey's cage as he ran about his bedding, seemingly scared by the new presence—quickly became awkward, so Riku decided to say the first thing that popped into his head.

"Why are you here?"

It was possibly the stupidest thing he could have asked.

The ghost—was it a ghost?—didn't insult him however. It simply replied, "You made a connection." It spoke slowly and quietly, its dark form not making a single movement, though there was no question the voice came from the mirror. It sounded cracked, like a sharp static was continuously interrupting it, or perhaps it had been damaged in the past.

Actually, it was a wonder Riku could hear the voice at all, considering it was coming from a pile of smoke he'd created with nothing more than household items and instructions he'd barely followed. His chest felt a bit denser as it started to hit Riku just what he was really doing. He had summoned a ghost. And now he was talking to it. Exactly how many people had done this in the past? How many were doing this now?

Riku realized he was being quiet again and searched for something else to say. He should have at least a hundred questions running through his mind but was somehow drawing a blank. ". . . You're Xehanort," he derived, making sure it came out like a statement and not a question so he appeared to have some confidence and intelligence. Not that he needed to prove himself to something dead.

That slow, cracked voice came from the mirror again. "Perhaps . . . that may be who I once was," it responded. "You may call me Ansem."

Riku opened his mouth to ask for elaboration on that statement, then decided he wasn't interested in this thing's life story. "Why appear to me?" he asked instead.

"You made a conn—"

"Aside from that." Great, the ghost did think he was an idiot. "I don't know what it's like after death, but you must have better things to do. Or do I have complete control over you now?"

That last part he added as a jab—something to show the ghost that Riku wasn't just some dumb kid playing medium; but as the words left his mouth Riku remembered he did have power over this spirit. To execute that which I desire to do—that's what he'd said during the ritual, wasn't it? So now this ghost had to do something for him.

". . . You're taping me," it observed.

Riku turned his head to face the camera behind him; he'd forgotten he'd set it up. The red recording light was blinking. Would this thing—'Ansem,' was it?—show up on the video? He felt a surge of what must have been adrenaline run through him at the thought.

"So what?" Riku asked, facing the mirror again. "I'm not planning any publicity stunts." He found himself surprised the figure could see anything. As far as Riku could tell there was no face—no body at all—beneath the hood.

He noticed the ghost had side-stepped his last question and added, "Besides what would you do about it if I did?" Riku held up the sigil. "I'm in charge of you now." This time it wasn't a question. The book had made it very clear that he had to take excellent care of this little piece of paper. It even recommended putting it in a folder so it didn't bend. He wasn't sure, but it wouldn't surprise Riku if the sigil now held what little life-force or whatever this 'Ansem' had left, or at least if it was all that allowed him to appear on a physical plane.

Again, Ansem refused to acknowledge the claim. Riku narrowed his eyes. It was true then; otherwise, he would have every reason to deny it. Evidently this spirit had belonged to someone too prideful to admit their weaknesses. Whatever—Riku wasn't here to play puppet master. He just had to come up with some small favor so he could dismiss this ghost and summon him again when Sora and Kairi were around.

But what sort of favor did Riku need from a ghost?

Before he got a chance to mull over the idea, he heard the front door open and his brother's voice call out, "Riku, you home?"

Riku snatched up the mirror and, carefully not to break it, hid it under the bed, face down with the sigil. "Yeah, in my room," he called back. Why was Terra back so early? He wasn't even gone a full hour yet.

He listened as footsteps climbed the stairs while he snuffed out the candles and incense and shoved them under the bed too. Riku's bedroom was right at the edge of the stairway, so as soon as Terra made it up here . . .

Sure enough, he heard Terra reach the top and stop outside the shut door. "Are you feeling okay, Riku?"

Thanking his foresight to lay down the sheets, Riku quickly rolled them up with the salt, lighter, and knife safely packed inside. "Of course." He tossed the coil on the far side of his bed, out of sight, where it landed with a soft thump. "Why?"

"Well, I haven't seen your door closed since that time Sora forgot your birthday."

Riku pocketed his cut hand and opened the door, looking up at the playful smile that was beginning to line itself on his brother's face. "What are you talking about?"

Terra laughed. "You don't remember?" he asked. "You were turning . . . seven, I believe, and noticed Sora hadn't mentioned your birthday was coming up. Somehow you got the idea that he must have planned a surprise party for you and refused to remind him so you could pretend you forgot and be surprised."

Riku stepped away to sit down at his computer desk, trying to look natural. "You made that up," he objected to the story.

"Nope," Terra said. He crossed his arms and leaned against Riku's doorway. "I'm surprised you forgot. You basically locked yourself away up here for a couple days. Hardly said a word to anyone. Dad had to practically drag you out of your room before you returned to society."

Riku made a noise that was somewhere between a scoff and a chuckle. "Bullshit."

"I'm not kidding, Riku," Terra assured him, shrugging lightly. "You were a pretty dramatic kid."

"Mm." Riku wondered if that ghost is still in the mirror . . . he should have checked that.

Terra started to scan the room, and Riku tensed up a bit when he noticed he'd left the camera out. "What's that smell?" Terra asked.

Smell? Oh, right. "It's incense. That's the reason I had my door closed."

Terra gave Riku a perplexed look. "Why are—"

"It's a gift for Kairi." Yeah, that was a good excuse. "I was just sampling it, to make sure she'd like it."

Terra let out a knowing sort of chuckle. "Trust me, you want to try a different scent. Hey, weren't your friends coming over today?"

"Apparently not. What about you? Weren't you with your friends?" _Take the hint before you notice the camera._

"Actually, I really do have to get going," Terra said, and Riku felt a small rush of relief. "I just came to grab some gas money. Ven had bum morning so Aqua and I are taking him to that new amusement park. It's a few hours away, so I might stay out all night."

Riku nodded. "Have fun."

"Sure. Maybe I'll drive you and your friends out there sometime, if it's worth checking out." He gave Riku a smile as dismissal, then continued down the hall to his room before grabbing his cash and taking off. Riku couldn't help but find himself jealous of the freedom his brother had as an adult. Why he had chosen to attend college here and not get his own place in a bigger city, Riku had never been able to figure out. He didn't mind though—life would be much different without Terra around.

Riku would definitely move out when he was of age, though. He wasn't going to spend his life stuck in this small place. Not when there was a whole world full of compelling things out there.

Speaking of compelling things . . .

Riku pulled the mirror out from beneath the bed as soon as he heard Terra's car pull away. It held host to only his own reflection now; breaking the circle must have ended the ritual. That was okay though. After all, Riku knew what to do to summon the ghost next time.

He picked the camera up off his bedside table and stopped the recording process, then played the video. He watched himself step into the circle and light the candles, recite the chant, cut his finger . . .

And then the ghost formed.

Riku stopped the video and flopped down on his bed, staring up out his window and into the sky. It had even showed up on camera. There is was—absolute, unaltered proof that the thing was real. Riku felt a tingle of energy start to shoot through his veins, and he grinned widely.

He could not wait to show Sora and Kairi.

* * *

Took me a couple weeks, but I updated. XP That's okay though. No one's following this story yet so I don't need to worry about deadlines. :D

And yes, the questions asked or implied in this chapter concerning Ansem's existence will be answered as the story progresses, regardless of what may be implied here. I'm not just pulling stuff out of my ass. ;P I mean, I am, since I made this up, but, well, you get it. XP

- Star-Shaped-χ


	3. Chapter III

Riku was never going to show Sora and Kairi.

Tonight was the last night before the school year began. Between family life and the hustle to get ready, the three friends hadn't met up once over the weekend. Now they were going to finally get together again at their usual spot by the river. One last romp before the school year tried to overload them with homework.

And Riku was hunched over the toilet, trying not to puke.

Something Riku had done during the ritual had messed him up. Bad. Right now, Riku couldn't see how he had ignorantly thought he could get away with using all those incorrect supplies. The book had specifically stated that most of them did nothing to aid the summoning itself—they were for protection. Admittedly, it was a lot easier to have twenty/twenty hindsight now that knew the ritual wasn't bogus, but he still found it hard to let himself justify the mistakes.

Riku hadn't noticed anything was wrong until he'd laid down for bed the night of the ritual, but at that point it was still subtle enough that it could have cropped up a few hours before and simply been under his radar. It began with a tingling feeling, similar to the pins-and-needles sensation of having a hand fall asleep, except this was all over his body. It was weak then, but became impossible to ignore once Riku had taken notice to it.

When he awoke the next day, the feeling had gotten stronger, and it only increased in strength throughout the day. By the time he'd laid down for bed again it was powerful enough to keep him up most of the night. Today it was stronger still. He felt as though his entire body was pricking itself, although the feeling wasn't 'pain,' exactly. It was more like he was going numb.

Riku wasn't used to his own skin anymore. No movement felt correct. More than once he had stumbled simply because he couldn't get a proper feel for the floor, and the prickling never let up. It had been a constant force for well over forty hours now, and was only getting worse. Riku could hardly focus on anything else, and though being distracted seemed petty compared to the physical problem, it still managed to cause him a great deal of annoyance.

Concerned, he'd opened up his tome yesterday and found a small warning describing a tingling sensation being a possible side-effect of the ritual, but the detail the book described didn't add up with what Riku was experiencing. According to the book, the feeling should be weaker if the person who performed the ritual was spiritually sensitive. Considering his success (scoff) with the ritual he'd performed, Riku figured he must fit that category. The feeling should also be less noticeable for a physically healthy person, and Riku definitely fell into that classification. The book always addressed the feeling as "light," never mentioning that it might get worse in time, and in fact claiming at one point that in never lasted more than two days after the ritual was complete. Even if barely, Riku was past that deadline.

There was another symptom too, one that the book failed to mention. While it was no secret that Riku liked to spend time alone, he wouldn't describe himself as anti-social. Despite his preference for physical activities, Riku had always found himself a bit on the introverted side, and it was simply easier to contemplate things without other people around. He was still always glad to spend time with his friends. But as of around noon yesterday, Riku wanted nothing to do with anyone, and not for his normal reasons. Putting his mind to use would be a joke with this constant prickling distracting him. He simply felt a strong, unjustified anger with the world. He'd hardly left the solitude of his room at all today (choosing to leave his door open only because of his brother's comment earlier).

He'd tried to rationalize that he was just on edge because of the issue with his body, or even that it had nothing to do with anything and was all in his head; but that idea was shot to pieces just a few minutes ago when attempting to leave to see Sora and Kairi had prompted the stomach clenching that now had him doubled over.

He inhaled heavily in a vain attempt to get some oxygen to his brain. That ritual had been a mistake. Why had it seemed like such an important task that he couldn't take the time to make one trip to the store and get the proper supplies? It wasn't as though the ghosts were going anywhere. To think, he'd almost exposed Sora and Kairi to this hell hole of a curse too.

The entire thing seemed pointless now; pointless and ignorant. He wouldn't attempt performing the ritual again, so there was no "practice" benefit. And the last thing he wanted was for his friends to find out about his mistake, so he wouldn't be showing them the video either. No, that memory card was safely locked away in a dresser drawer where no one could ever see what was on it. Riku planned to burn it just as soon as he was certain doing so wouldn't have any nasty side-effects either. He could just imagine lighting the piece of plastic on fire only to see his own flesh blister away.

Now though, it was time to get off the toilet and get moving. Nothing was coming out, and the few deep breaths had seemed to settle the nausea, so Riku grabbed his jacket and left before his damn stomach got any second thoughts.

Their spot at the river was a forty minute walk from Riku's home, which had never been a problem for him. He'd always appreciated the walk along the near-empty roads and the time to think it provided. Even tonight with his far-less-than-graceful footsteps he remained unperturbed by the distance. And he tried to tell himself it wasn't because he was trying to prolong the time. He tried to push down the anger his mind was telling him he had, because he didn't. Sora and Kairi were his friends and he had no reason to be mad at them, regardless of what his emotions might think. His pissy mood could suck it. Riku was going to hang out with his friends, and he was going to have fun.

Kairi was already there when Riku arrived, with her back to him. She was sitting on a large rock at the river's edge with her feet dangling in the water. Her shoes sat a few yards away next to the mass of wood and rope the group was turning into a fort. It didn't happen often that Riku found her alone; if it weren't for the unrelenting irritation he'd been experiencing, this might have made his day.

She turned to greet him when she heard him coming, and he tried to steady his footsteps and hoped he didn't look like he'd just walked out of a bar at two in the morning. "It's been a bit," Kairi said. Judging by her smile, he was hiding how uncomfortable he was well.

Riku sat next to her, by the water's edge. "Yeah," he agreed. He didn't look over, but he could feel the stare she was giving him, demanding an explanation he wasn't about to give.

"You know," she began in a coy tone, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you and Sora were avoiding me."

Riku frowned. "What? Are you kidding?" Kairi giggled and walked over to the fort. "We've all been busy. Including you."

"I _was_ kidding." She flashed him a grin. "But you know, you don't have to be so defensive about it."

"Defensive?" Kairi laughed again. "I'm not being defensive," Riku argued. He did ignore the small thought at the back of his mind that reminded him he was free yesterday and hadn't called either of them up though. "You're crazy."

Kairi put her hand on one of the wooden poles that would eventually become a wall in the fort. "Nope, this project's the one who's really been neglected. Poor thing. We haven't worked on it once all week."

She had a point. Building the fort was something the three had originally decided on as a summer project, but they'd hardly even finished a basic outline for the structure. It was ambitious in design, but so far scant more than a few walls and some makeshift poles tied together, extending around and up into the trees. Kairi sat next to one of the bundles of wood that was halfway through the process of becoming another wall and starting tying it together.

Riku and Kairi had done most of the wall-building, since Sora couldn't tie a knot to save his life. Riku could still remember tying Sora's shoelaces together for him in second grade. When Sora would let him, at least—that boy was perfectly content to run around at recess with his shoes not tied at all, like he didn't even notice when he tripped or if one of the shoes went flying off his foot. Simple-minded asshole.

"Where is Sora, anyway?" Riku asked. His voice sounded awkward. It was a bit robotic, like the vibrations persisting in his body had spread into his vocal cords too.

"You know him," Kairi answered. "He probably ran into another friend on the way and stopped to chat. Or fell asleep."

She laughed, and even that seemed distorted to Riku. In fact, the world sounded sort of robotic now—the slow flow of the river, the breeze coursing through the trees, the high-pitched rhythm of a few chirping crickets—it all sounded like Riku was hearing it on a bad recording.

"Hey, are you feeling okay?" Kairi asked. The look she gave him was more confusion than concern.

Riku shook his head—not to say 'no,' but as a dismissal of the question. "People should quit asking me that," he mumbled, even though he'd done a good enough job hiding his symptoms from his family that they hadn't suspected a thing.

Kairi's smile faltered just a little. "Well, I'm working on the fort and you're not. _That_ never happens." She shrugged. "I'm just saying, it makes you seem like you're not feeling well."

Riku was surprised to realize she was right. He hadn't even noticed she'd begun work on the fort without him—or rather, he'd noticed, but it hadn't registered in his brain. Was he really paying so little attention? It wasn't like him.

"I mean, I'm not trying to bitch you out or anything," Kairi explained. "I'm just saying it's weird. But you deserve a break if you want to take one tonight. I know Sora and I have done plenty of goofing off in the past while you—"

"No, it's fine." Riku stood up, though the motion was less smooth than he'd have liked and he found himself tempted to use the giant rock Kairi had sat on earlier for support. He walked over to her and knelt by her to help tie the wall together, thankfully not missing any steps on the way (which took a lot of concentration). She was still giving him that quizzical stare, so he decided to offer up, "I'm just distracted," as a half-hearted explanation.

"What happened?"

For once, Riku wished he'd picked stupider friends. Or at least less intrusive ones. "Nothing 'happened,'" he insisted. "Just . . ." She raised her eyebrows at him, and he sighed and looked back to his work. "Just contemplating things."

"Hmm." Kairi whipped her head away from him, quick enough that her short hair almost had enough force to brush by his face. He hadn't noticed he'd sat that close to her. Hopefully it wasn't bothering her, but he was probably safe; it looked as though she hadn't noticed either.

"Well, when you decide I'm important enough to know what's on _your_ mind, maybe I'll tell you what's on mine." She turned back with a teasing grin. "I was thinking about past lives." An earnest smile replaced her playful one. "I have a theory that a new life must start immediately after another is born," she said. "Like it's making an immediate transition."

It was rare that Kairi opened up to him about these things without trying to turn it into some sort of game. He wished she'd do it at a time he could pay better attention though. He tried to ignore the prickling feeling covering his body and focus on what she was saying.

"So," she continued, "since human population keep growing over the centuries, the individual souls must not always belong to the same species. And I've been doing some thinking . . ."

Ah, here comes the game. He could tell by the lilt in her voice. The corners of her lips began to twitch back into that playful grin too.

"I've decided that I know what animal I was last life." She giggled at him. "Care to guess which one?"

"A swan," Riku ventured confidently, surprising himself with how quickly the answer came.

Kairi let out a light scoff. "You say that to all the ladies?" she teased, whacking his arm playfully. For a second, Riku could almost swear the prickling ceased, but it was back so fast he was sure he'd just imagined it.

Suddenly Kairi's body froze up. She frowned and looked directly into Riku's eyes. "What?" Riku asked, but she didn't answer immediately. Was this another game? Her way of telling him she was a cat in a past life (or some other animal that was prone to giving hypnotic gazes)?

She leaned in closer to him, narrowing her eyes as she looked at his. What did see expect to see in there? If this were anyone else it might have been a little scary. Though, this was still intimidating for its own reasons. What was Kairi playing at?

Slowly, she pulled away, and Riku was caught off guard by a small level of disappointment. What over, he wasn't sure. After all, it wasn't as though he actually thought she was going to—

"Your eyes changed."

Riku frowned. "What? Changed how?"

"I don't know." The frown began to disappear from her face, but her expression was still serious. "Forget it. I probably imagined it."

Did this have something to do with the ritual? "Tell me," Riku prompted, hoping his tone came out encouraging and not worried. It was hard for him to be certain with the ridiculous buzzing.

"Well . . . hmm." Kairi looked away. "I'm really sure it was just in my head, but, it almost looked like your pupils shrunk for a second. I mean major shrunk, maybe even disappeared." She laughed. "You're not shooting up, are you Riku?"

Riku scoffed. "Right. You know me. Always thinking about my next hit." That made her laugh again, and he smiled. Inwardly, at least; his facial muscles didn't feel like cooperating.

Kairi went back to tying the wall together, which made Riku realize he'd been neglecting doing the same. In fact, as he picked up the rope he had to wonder if he'd even started working earlier. He thought he remembered he had, but it looked like he hadn't done a thing.

"I think I was a dragonfly," Kairi told him. Riku gave her a disapproving look. "No?"

"It's a bug," he said. "It doesn't live very long and it is ugly as sin. That doesn't sound a thing like you."

Kairi giggles. "You know, you're kinda sweet when you're not trying to be."

What was that supposed to mean? Riku brushed it away. "Anyway, I thought you believed in ghosts. How can a soul or whatever start a new life if it's stuck in the afterworld?"

Kairi sighed. It sounded almost wistful, though Riku wasn't sure why. "I don't know what I believe," she confessed. "I'm just a bunch of theories with no concrete answers. Did you know dragonflies abandon their eggs?"

"Riku! Kairi!" They turned to see Sora skateboarding towards them on the slight downhill slope. Which was an immensely moronic idea. Riku kept waiting for the wheels to catch on a loose branch or trunk and for Sora to flip onto his head, but to the boy's credit he managed to stay upright.

He parked his skateboard next to Kairi's shoes and chuckled nervously. "Sorry I'm late," he offered.

Kairi grinned. "Sleep in?"

"Even better." Sora held out the plastic store bag he was carrying, which was so full it was a miracle it hadn't burst open. "I stopped to get some snacks for us, but there was kind of a long line. Actually, it wasn't that long, but the guy in front of me took forever. I really think he only came in to pick a fight with the cashier."

Sora distributed the treats around, but Riku waved his hand away to refuse his share. He wasn't sure if he was up to trying to stomach food now. Sora simply shrugged at him and at down beneath a tree as he began to munch. "So, what are we doing?"

Kairi migrated next to him, tearing open the wrapper to a candy bar. "We're working on the treehouse, silly. You know that."

Sora groaned. "I mean aside from that. Come on, we're gonna play games too, right? We haven't hung out in over a week!"

_It hasn't been that long._ Riku decided not to complain that the two were slacking off together again. In fact, looking down at his work, he had to seriously consider taking Kairi's advice for the night off too. He didn't have enough real feeling in his fingers to complete the task at his normal par. He banished the thought though. He could always redo the work later. At least this way he had an excuse for being a poor conversationalist.

"Hey, I bought a pack of cards," Sora said in a suggestive voice. "We could play some strip poker." Riku heard a thump that must have been Kairi smacking Sora's head, because afterwards Sora yelled, "Ow! I was kidding!"

"More like dreaming," Kairi laughed.

"Really, it was a joke. I don't have any cards."

They continued talking, but Riku found himself spacing away from the conversation. The prickling feeling was getting worse, and the nausea from earlier had started to return too. And what was it Kairi had said about his pupils? What did any of these symptoms have to do with each other?

Riku closed his eyes. What if the ritual had nothing to do with it at all? Maybe he should check in at the hospital; though, he'd never heard of a sickness with these specific problems before. Which was more likely: he had contracted an undiscovered disease, or he had been cursed by something that didn't even have a body?

"Hey, Riku."

He heard Sora say his name but made no move to respond. Riku didn't want to take part in their talk. Too many thoughts were racing through his head, and the vibrations in his body were making it impossible to process them clearly. Any illness wouldn't have come on this suddenly, right? The timing was too coincidental; it must be the ritual. Any thoughts he had claiming otherwise were just rationalization he'd been conditioned to do with anything about supernatural subjects, because they weren't real. But Riku had proof that they were. So unless he was crazy (and that seemed the least likely of the theories) then the correct explanation really was a paranormal one.

Sora tapped his shoulder, and Riku sharply stood and turned around, lashing away at the intruding arm. "_What_?"

Sora leaned away, taken aback. "Uhh . . ."

"Geez Riku, bite his ear off why don't you," Kairi scolded.

Riku nervously glanced between the two. He was honestly just as shocked as they were. He'd just had a massive spike in his symptoms, unfortunately timed at the exact point Sora had tapped him; the shouting had been more a way to cover up the pain than real anger.

Kairi came over to join them, genuine concern lining her face this time. "Are you sure you're feeling okay, Riku?"

". . . I . . ." Riku let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah. Just a headache." He looked at Sora. "I didn't mean to sound that tense."

Sora smiled at him, but Riku had seen the skepticism on his face moments before and knew his friend wasn't buying the lie. "It's okay, Riku," Sora said, offering up a hand to shake as a truce. "I forgive you."

_I didn't apologize, prick._

Where did that thought come from? Ugh. Fuck this bad mood and its hatred of the world. Is this what girls go through every time they PMS? No wonder nobody understands them.

Riku returned the handshake and the spike of pain returned. He felt like his entire body had decided now was a good time for a muscle cramp. The anger grew too, and he had to hold himself back from an inexplicable urge to lunge at Sora and start a fight. Riku broke away from his friend's grip quickly, and the spike diminished until his symptoms were back in the state they'd been in before.

What was wrong with him? Was it human contact that was making this worse? That certainly wasn't something medical science would explain.

Sora and Kairi exchanged looks. No doubt because there was no way Riku had been able to look normal during that handshake. He wondered if they had seen the hurt or the rage. He wasn't sure which he would prefer.

"Maybe . . . you should go home and rest," Kairi offered. "You don't want to miss the first day of school tomorrow."

Sora grinned again. "Yeah," he said. "Don't forget, you have to show us around and protect us poor, innocent freshmen from hazing."

"I'll be fine," Riku insisted, looking away so he couldn't see their reactions to the irritation he'd failed to keep out of his voice.

Another quiet settled over the group before Kairi broke it again. "Hey Riku, I've got a surprise," she said happily.

He looked up to see Sora grinning knowingly, apparently already aware of what Kairi was about to say. He felt another thread of displeasure wind its way around the spool of discomfort in his gut, but he wasn't sure if it was jealousy that Sora had found out first or guilt that Riku hadn't been around to be able to.

"Mom's taking a business trip next month to the same city I grew up in," Kairi announced. "She's letting me come with! It'll be for a whole week. Isn't that exciting?"

"That's great," Riku said, successfully throwing up a fake smile. This time he knew he felt nothing but jealousy. This town wasn't small, per se, but it was smaller than he wished it was. He'd give anything to visit a place of real significance. He wondered if each of their parents would be okay if Riku asked to tag along. Though he wasn't sure how Kairi would feel spending a week practically alone with him.

"Do they have a zoo there?" Sora asked. He almost looked as excited as Kairi. "I would love to visit a zoo someday."

_You're not going, Sora._

"Yeah, I'll definitely have to check it out."

Riku shook his head. Why was he so damned petulant lately?

Sora and Kairi continued talking about the trip, and although he tried Riku remained unmotivated to join the discussion. The prickling was definitely interfering with his ability to concentrate, and he continued making hateful comments in his head throughout the night; it was exasperating and a bit worrisome, even if he ignored every one of them. Finally, Riku decided to give in and dismiss himself. He wasn't having a good time, and certainly wasn't helping his friends to. Even if they'd never admit it, he knew they must have been glad when he walked away. He felt a bit guilty that the nausea lessened into nothing the farther he got from his friends, but there was no denying it was nice to have it die down.

Riku stared into the bathroom mirror when he got home, not blinking for as long as he could force his eyes to stay open. Then he tried it again with the lights off. He couldn't spot the difference Kairi had pointed out. Was it really all in her head? A trick of the light?

The prickling persisting in Riku's body kept him up until after four in the morning. When he did sleep, he dreamed he was running through an empty void, trying to catch a large, dark mass; when he awoke, it was with the feeling the darkness had been chasing him.

* * *

Sorry this update took almost three weeks. ^^; I would promise it won't happen again, but honestly that'd probably be a lie. But I plan to finish drafting the next one soon, so it will probably be posted in just a few days. :) Maybe that makes up for it? Plus this chapter was about twice the length of the first one. XP Ah. Seriously though, I will try to be better about updating.

But for now, writing isn't the only thing I've neglected as of late. There are a number of alerts in my e-mail leading to fics that I simply must R&R. :3 Reading ho!

- Star-Shaped-χ


	4. Chapter IV

It was only day one of school and already Riku hated his alarm clock. He turned it off and closed his eyes again, sitting up to make sure he stayed awake. He hadn't managed even three hours of sleep. Joy.

The prickling feeling was still present, and this morning brought on yet another symptom as well—a full-body throb that hit him close to five times a minute (he counted as he tried to wake up). The throbbing didn't hurt, but it was powerful enough that Riku half-expected to see his skin pulse in time with it. So much for his hopes of being able to concentrate today.

With sleep tugging at his brain, Riku debated his odds of managing to skip. His dad would already be at work, and his mother had stopped getting up early enough to make sure he made it to school years ago. No one would think to check on him, at least not until the school called; and even that might not happen since teachers never have anything important going on the first day anyway.

In the end though, he decided he'd better be responsible. Riku forced the grogginess to the back of his mind and pushed himself up, but the motion caused his head to rush and he fell back down immediately, missing the edge of his bed and landing on the floor instead. Riku let out a frustrated growl. He could have caught himself if he could just get his body to move properly.

He stood again, slower this time so his head had time to adjust. The dizziness returned, but it was bearable. Riku mentally added up another symptom to his list of things the book failed to mention. Unless this really _didn't_have anything to do with the ritual, and he was in denial about a brain tumor or something. Maybe it would be smarter to seek help. Yeah, right; if Riku couldn't even handle telling his friends, there was no way he was going to attempt a hospital.

Then again, the constant crowding at school would be worse. Riku's stomach cramped up at the thought. People made him sick . . . that certainly didn't have a medical explanation, unless he'd developed a social phobia without cause. There was no point in seeing a doctor. Riku had already decided that the ritual was to blame. He'd made a mistake, but so what? He didn't need to waste everyone else's time on it. He could handle this on his own. It wouldn't kill him.

At least, he was pretty sure it wouldn't.

* * *

Riku tried not to show what he was enduring when he saw Sora and Kairi that morning, and though he could tell they weren't fooled, they were at least courteous enough not to call him out on it. His stomach lurched the entire time and his mind clouded with angry comments directed at nearly everyone who came close to him, but he ignored it all as best he could. His friends were still excited about being freshmen and he didn't want to ruin that for them.

In a way, it had almost made him miss the days when he used to get excited for the beginning of the school year. For Riku, that had stopped in fifth grade. He liked to believe that was around the time he began to understand the world more.

Now he was leaning against the side of the gym bleachers, in the physical education elective that was the last class he had before lunch period, which meant he had made it through about half of the school day. He must have looked like shit though because two teachers had asked if he wanted them to send him home, but Riku refused. Lunch was open campus here, so in just twenty minutes he'd be able to get away from everything for a while. Though he was pretty sure if wouldn't be eating anything, unless he stomach settled down between now and then.

At least he didn't have a headache. The teacher let this class play around the gym after they'd gone over the rules, and the walls did a great job echoing the loud voices. Riku didn't take part. Fatigue wasn't a symptom either, but between the virtual numbness and his peripherals blurring he doubted he could run straight. Sora had climbed up the bleachers and sat next to him. Riku wished he wouldn't—he could tell by the way the boy's feet were bouncing that he was itching to get out there and run around with everyone else—but he had to admit it was nice to have his friend by his side.

Riku's stomach reeled again as a group of kids ran by to grab a basketball that had gotten away from their game. The past few hours had agitated the new throbbing too. The pulses came more often now, between four and six seconds apart. It didn't hurt, exactly, but it felt wrong, as if with every throb his body was moving away from him. He almost expected to find himself dragged to the same plane of existence he'd pulled that ghost out of. He wondered what his classmates would think if he disappeared from the room.

Sora was giving him the same concerned stare he'd gotten from everyone all damned morning. "Go play," Riku told him.

"Go home," Sora countered.

Riku held back an exasperated sigh. He knew his friend would call him out sooner or later. "I'm fine," he insisted, but Sora's raised eyebrows told him his friend wasn't buying the story. "So I'm sick. So what? It happens—no big deal."

"That's the thing though. You don't look sick, really, you look . . ." Sora's eyes wandered up as he thought of how he wanted to finish that sentence, while Riku gave him a somewhat surprised look. Sora was so easily led that Riku often forgot he had his intuitive moments, but this was stunning even for him.

After a bit of thinking, a sly grin formed on Sora's face. He looked back to Riku and confidently spoke, "You're scared."

Of all the responses, Riku wasn't expecting that. The accusation only irritated him further. "What the fuck would I be scared about?"

Sora glanced over at the teacher to make sure he hadn't heard Riku drop the F-bomb, then shrugged. "You've been weird ever since we went on that ghost hunt," he explained. "I bet you're so worked up over the idea of a zombie slurping up your vertebrae that you gave yourself stress-sickness."

Riku turned away. "You're full of it."

"Aw, come on, Riku." Sora chuckled nervously. "It's a joke. I'm trying to cheer you up."

Riku didn't respond. He was fine. Sora didn't have to coddle him.

"Are you mad?" Sora asked.

". . . No." Riku turned back. "I'm just not talkative today. That's all."

Sora frowned and looked at the floor. "You've got friends, you know," he said. "Me and Kairi, we can tell something's up, and we want to help."

Riku knew he should feel happy for the concern, but he found himself irritated to think that they were talking about him after he left last night. As if their pity would solve anything.

Then again, pretending nothing was wrong obviously wasn't working either. If anything, it was probably just worrying his friends further.

"Sora . . . It's nothing you can help with, okay?" Sora opened his mouth to argue, but Riku continued. "And it's not nearly as big a deal as you two are making it out to be. Really." Hopefully that would assuage his friend's fears a little.

For a couple of seconds, Sora looked like he was struggling to decide if Riku's answer satisfied him or not; then the boy nodded and smiled at him. "Well . . . cheer up, okay?" he asked, and gave Riku an energetic slap on the back.

The slap was just the force Riku's stomach needed to finally blow chunks.

* * *

Needless to say, the school system sent Riku home after that, despite his arguments. When his mother picked him up, he assured her it was nothing more than a stomach bug. She was a little panicky for a while (Riku never got sick) but he managed to convince her that a hospital trip wasn't necessary by the time they made it home.

She told him he wouldn't be going to school tomorrow though, and Riku couldn't bring himself to fight her on that. He was glad he had time to lay in bed and not move. He just hoped it had the recuperative effects everyone believed it would.

Honestly though, he didn't think resting would solve anything—after all, it wasn't as though he'd been exerting himself since the ritual. This wasn't an illness; it was a curse, and it didn't follow the normal get-well-soon rules.

As he lay in bed, it dawned on Riku that this thing might not be short-term. It might continue to escalate until . . . until when? Until he died? He wasn't going to suffer through it for that long. If this was really a curse, then there was a way to break it.

Riku grabbed the tome he'd gotten the ritual from and opened it to page one. No more skim reading, or using the table of contents to find what he wanted. He'd tried that and got nowhere. But if this book had caused this, it could tell him how to fix it too. He would read it from beginning to end, looking for any meager clue hidden away in some tangent from another topic. If it wasn't in there, he would try another source, maybe something by the same author or a work the referenced in these pages. A cure for this must exist, and he was going to find it.

It didn't take long for Riku to become frustrated with the task though. Not because he wasn't unearthing any immediate results (determined as he was, he wasn't ignorantly impatient and knew it would take some time to go through the thick book), but because the damn buzzing in his body and jutting throbs had him so distracted he could barely concentrate on the words in front of him. _Reading_ had become a difficult task.

He hadn't even made it through two chapters when Sora and Kairi came to see him after school let out. His mother told said they couldn't stay long though—she didn't want them catching the flu too. What Riku wouldn't give to have a simple flu.

Although their presence agitated his stomach further (which he was still convinced was the weirdest symptom of all of them) it was still good to know they weren't too fed up with him to come see him. Though their concern was annoying, and he had to put down the book. Maybe it was good his mother wasn't letting them stay for long.

Sora and Kairi filled him in on how their first day of school had been, trying to tell him happy stories to raise his mood. They told him how much fun they'd had during the classes the two had together. Riku listened, but took advantage of being "sick" as an excuse for not talking.

Sora must have confused the reason for Riku's silence though. "I'm gonna go get you a drink," he said, and left the room. Leave it to Sora to always want to fix things but never know how.

That just left Kairi in the room with him. She had moved Mickey's cage to the floor so she could sit on Riku's bedside table (Sora had taken the only chair earlier). Riku couldn't help but be vaguely aware that if he had positioned himself a foot lower in the bed Kairi might as well forget she was wearing a skirt. He couldn't believe she'd worn that to school. The only thing that skirt hid was her tomboy-ish nature. When Riku had given his friends their quick tour that morning before their first classes, he'd seen a lot of guys leering after her; but he was sure to send some menacing looks of his own their way to shut down any ideas).

Kairi gave Riku a mischievous smirk. "So," she giggled, "I hear you vomited all over the gym floor this morning."

Riku closed his eyes in a small grimace. He was sure to get some slack for that one when he went back to school. Still, Kairi's laughter and a bit of effort did allow him to manage a flicker of a smile.

"You're really sick, aren't you?" Kairi sighed, lightly placing the back of her palm on his forehead.

Riku clenched his eyes shut, expecting the contact to send another spasm of pain through him; and while his symptoms reacted immediately, it was not in the way he had anticipated. His head and nausea cleared, and the buzzing in his body slowly began to subside.

They were fading.

Why? Before this had the opposite effect, so what changed? Already the heavy vibrations had left the upper half of his body, leaving just a minor tingling behind. Had he been misinterpreting the reason the entire time? Perhaps there was another variable. Maybe the time of day? It had been nighttime before after all.

"No fever though," Kairi said, pulling her hand away. He felt the symptoms begin to return, but considerably weaker than before. "You're too prideful, Riku. If you told someone or rested yourself up instead of being stupid and keeping it all locked—"

Riku opened his eyes. "Do that again," he demanded.

"Hm?" Kairi gave a short laugh. "Do what, insult you?"

"No, I . . ." This was going to sound weird. "Can you . . . put your hand back on my head?"

Kairi raised an eyebrow at him. "Why?"

Riku looked away. "Never mind." What was he supposed to do? Just tell her it felt good? Yeah, that wouldn't be creepy at all.

"You're weird when you're sick," Kairi laughed, but to Riku's (very grateful) surprise she did follow through with his request. Riku stared at the ceiling as the buzzing slowly left him completely. The throbbing was much weaker as well.

Riku smiled. For once, he didn't care about why something was working out the way it was. He felt normal for the first time in days; finding an explanation for it could wait.

But then he glanced over at Kairi and saw that she had her head turned away from him, and her other hand clenched into a small fist. She looked . . . angry?

Sora walked in before he got a chance to ask, and Kairi quickly pulled her hand away from his head. "Checking for a fever?" Sora asked.

Kairi gave Riku a look he couldn't quite read, before grinning at Sora and replying, "Nope, I was checking for sanity. Turns out this is all in his head. I'll prescribe some psycho pills and he'll be back on his feet in the morning."

Riku frowned. "I'm not crazy."

"Hey, you talked." Sora grinned and handed Riku the glass of water he'd gotten. "Here. I bet you're thirsty."

Riku wasn't, but he sat up and drank half of it anyway. He scoffed inwardly at his happiness to be able to grip the cup without the small task taking all his concentration. For the first time in two days, moving was natural. Riku's grin returned. No dizziness, no nausea, no throbbing. He could hear and feel and _think_. If only he could explain his relief to Kairi—then she certainly wouldn't be giving him any weird looks about it. The vibrations were still present, but they had died back down to the small tingle he'd felt in the beginning. It would all probably escalate back up in a few days like before, but until then Riku could feel normal.

Scratch that—he felt tired. Whatever that contact had done hadn't relieved him of the lack of sleep he'd had lately, and with these symptoms gone he might actually be able to catch up on it.

Riku lay back down as soon as his mother sent Sora and Kairi home a few minutes later. He still planned continue reading that book, but it could wait until sleep was near impossible again. Resting would be his number one priority while he had the ability to do it.

* * *

Something large slammed into Riku, jolting him awake. He sat up quickly, swiping at the unknown attacker but hitting only air. It was nighttime now, and enough moonlight shone through his window for Riku to see the room was as empty as always.

Then he felt it again—a thud that seemed to come from nowhere but carried a very definite pain. The invisible force was powerful enough that he expected it to knock him back into the headboard, but it didn't cause any movement. It just hurt.

It felt it again, and again, each second bringing a new blow. No, not even that—the attacks were less than a second apart; an almost constant throb. Riku clenched his teeth to bite back the pain, eyes performing a frantic search around the room for anything out of the ordinary, any possible source, but nothing had changed.

Thud after thud hit him, as if he was repeatedly tackled against wall, yet somehow the blows came from all sides. He stood up, expecting the sheer force of these attacks to send him to the floor, but stayed upright. Amidst the relentless throbbing, he examined himself for any sign of an injury—a bloody nose, a bruise, anything to give him some tangible proof this was actually happening—but found nothing, even as the throbbing continued its rapid attack.

The throbbing . . .

This was the throbbing. The same symptom that had started from this morning. It was coming from _inside_ of him.

Riku clenched fists, trying to grip his way through the pain. How could it be this powerful already? Or this frequent? He had his entire body tensed up, but there was nothing he could do to shield himself from himself. How long would this last?

His heart pounded as rapidly, hard in his chest, and Riku noticed the waves of pain were in sync with it. He checked the pulse on his neck to confirm. The throbbing was coming from his own heart, traveling through his bloodstream.

"Fuck," Riku moaned, fighting the instinct that told him to scream. If previous experience was anything to go by, this pain wasn't going to fade away. It was going to get worse. If he didn't know any better, he'd swear the room just grew darker. He couldn't go on like this, but it wasn't as though cutting out his heart was an option.

Riku looked at the dim outline of his door. It was shut—someone must have closed it that evening so as not to disturb him. The throbbing continued unabated. Could this cause long-term damage if it got going long enough? He tried to calm down, to slow his heart beat and lessen the pain, but the adrenaline his system had reflexively produced made that impossible.

He had to go to a hospital. He knew that wouldn't provide a cure, but if he was lucky the painkillers would help. At the very least, the doctors could reduce his heart rate.

Riku made it two steps before noticing his vision was blackening around the edges, and along with the throbbing he felt his head begin to swim again. Riku realized he was going to faint and dropped down, placing his head on the floor to make sure it wouldn't be damaged. His vision narrowed further. He could feel his breath reverberating off the floor—he hadn't noticed how heavy he'd been breathing.

Riku's sight left him completely, but he didn't lose consciousness. He widened his eyes as much as he could, trying to take in any moonlight, but he couldn't see a thing. The pounding came faster now as fear caused his heart to beat more. Keeping his head close to the ground, he tried to scan around the room, tried to see anything, but there was nothing except darkness.

The dizziness rushed over him again and he returned his head to the ground, still holding his eyes open in a hope the blindness would end. He wouldn't go through the rest of his life this way. It had to be temporary. There had to be some way to fix it.

An intense shock wave hit him suddenly—different from the throbbing because it _flowed_, from his heart to his head, which shot up as his body jerked in reflex.

Immediately, Riku's vision returned.

And he was staring up at another man in his room.

* * *

So much for that few-day update. ^^; This took about as long as the last one. And I'm not gonna lie, the next chapter may or may not be a short while away. I'm still debating with myself how much I want to include in it.

On the bright side though, it looks like the story's finally getting its ball rolling. :) I'm actually pretty excited to write the next scene. Should be fun!

- Star-Shaped-χ


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